Contact betwixt each slick exterior causes relentless emotional warfare. Such complex and thrilling feelings bursting forth from unknown origins. The pure, unadulterated need for you always near, the desire for contact whether clean or otherwise, the deeply threaded yearning for more weaving in and out of my mind, looping above and below my heart, tying you throughout all of me. Each and every time you touch me, a simple caress of hand on hand, or leg on leg, a nudge, a hug, a light hearted tug, results in emotional bombardments against my heart, my soul, and my very mind. The struggle immediately begins to resist initiating more, to resist committing the very actions that always plague my mind and the very dreams that consume my time. Perhaps one day I shall shed this conservative facade and give in to my human temptations. Until then, I rest here with you. Hands obeying every rule ever created. My mind hard at work to maintain some semblance of control. My heart weeping behind closed bars. My soul quietly soaring above, all stealth observing the events below.
All my time with you,
Discovering what is true.
Lie in bed all day,
Cuddle in every way.
I wish to hold you close and never let you go, to wrap my arms round your waist and kiss you good night.
I wish to cook you breakfast and serve you in bed, watch contentedly as you eat sleepily.
I wish to spend each moment I have left, however long that may be, enjoying your shy company.
I wish to call you mine, and make it so each and every day, treat you like the angel I know God made you to be.
I wish to lift you higher on your hopes and dreams, constantly support you and set you free.
I wish to earn the love of your family, and hold your hand for all to see.
I wish to shout from the roof tops that you are mine, and mine alone, for the world to know.
I wish to touch you when and where I desire, without fear of someone else interfering.
I wish to kiss you… everywhere, and never have to stop.
I wish to love you.
The World Unseen
Imagine Me & You
I Can’t Think Straight
Tipping the Velvet
When Night is Falling
Nina’s Heavenly Delights
Kissing Jessica Stein
Better Than Chocolate
Aimme & Jaguar
Itty Bitty Titty Committee
Sister My Sister
The Truth About Jane
You and I
A Marine Story
It’s In The Water
And Then Came Lola
Mini vacation away from pieces of you, an escape from literature devoted to you, complete. Now I am back, nipped and licked by the world of you. Teased and tasted to the utter pleasure of you. More art memorializes you, and I have come back to you.
Why didn’t I meet you first? Your path graced across mine so elegantly before all the others responsible for shredding my heart. Why was your voice not the first I fell in love with and the last I heard each night? Have I told you how much I love your voice being the last thing I hear at night? Brings a certain complex type of serenity.. Why was your smile not the first that warmed my soul? A smile that could easily grow and become the fire within me. So many whys… constantly wondering why… why the most beautiful and perfect woman was not the woman I first fell in love with.
But then I remember, all those women of my past happened for a very important reason. They taught me who I am, what I like, what I hate, how to love someone and more importantly, how to love myself so I can love someone else completely. All the pain and mistakes from my past occurred so I would not make those mistakes with you.
Everything happened for a reason.
Hair exhibiting movement as waves, turning and coiling majestically beneath the summer sun, warm and vibrant, full of life.
Eyes filled with knowledge incomparable to any before, glistening and gazing out upon a world filled with disappointments only to shine brighter when fixated on the little moments blessing the Earth.
Smile radiant as a northern star, constant and reliable, always beautiful beyond belief, a lifeline in a universe of darkness.
Laughter brimming with all the joys of spring, light and full as a Christmas bell.
Voice calm and soothing like a gentle running brook, softly flowing through the trees, dipping and rising at the Earth’s behest, quietly paving a solitude through a jungle of fear.
Heart enormous and bursting with life, pumping and beating its essence forth, home to many and always wanting more, large enough to save the world.
Spirit unchallenged in superiority, strong and resilient, a fighter to the end, a spirit worthy of the best, a spirit that can only be the best and nothing less.
Has anything ever been written and automatically despised such as this? Everything drained from this dreary disposition seems just that, the disappointing remnants of a dreary disposition. When will this rut leave me be?
Do you ever stop just to wonder what lies ahead? What new obstacle obstructs your path? What new mountain in need of scaling obscures your aesthetic view? Or perhaps your life filled with so many pleasantries and neat-fitting pieces remains too busy to ever ponder upcoming events. Maybe so much happiness has occurred in your life that the possibility of something malfunctioning sounds irrational and absurd.
On the other hand, your life could exude the same cynicism, pessimism, “realism”, and agony as the rest of the world. Your life’s map could be dotted with rises and falls, its surface torn and tattered from Hell’s fire and brimstone. Your life could be so drastically opposite of previously stated, that the mere fantastical thought towards the future causes a shudder to race down your spine and nibble at your toes. Another rabbit jumped over your grave, it seems. And just where is this grave of yours? Somewhere nice with a lake, flowers, plenty of trees and a view of the sunset? Or somewhere damp and dark, skeletal tree branches scraping your tombstone, annual floods and fires, goblins and ghouls haunting it keeping the dead in their graves and the living in their homes? The choice is yours, my friend.
Life does not happen to you, you happen to life. What you make of your situation determines what your situation makes of you. The choice is yours. React in anger, react in tears, react in laughter, or react in fear. Every reaction has an opposite and equal reaction. Remember this and make your choice.
Too many emotions,… too many thoughts… too much to think about… too much to feel… too much to write.